Can you be fit, healthy and sexy – if your partner or spouse isn’t interested in the same?

One of the BIGGEST obstacles which prevents most people from ever reaching and maintaining an ideal level of physical fitness – is a spouse or partner who is simply not interested in the “fitness lifestyle”.

I have much to say and plenty to write on this very topic – and I will do so in the future, No Doubt… But for now – this post from fitness pro, and guest writer, Sue Heintze who faces the same obstacle; shares with us how she has managed to overcome it.

So, here we go…

QUESTION for Sue: “Is your spouse supportive of your desire to live a fitness lifestyle – and what are some of the ways he does this?”

Sue’s ANSWER:

Sure, it is a really big plus if your partner is supportive of your fitness lifestyle….

To be able to talk about fitness together, to exercise together, and cook healthy meals together, would be a fitness buff’s dream. But this is a rare occurrence and if your partner is not as supportive as you would like, it doesn’t mean you have to give up.

Yes, it makes it a little more difficult but it’s certainly not impossible as I prove on a daily basis!

Many of my clients complain to me that their partner eats junk food in front of them. My simple and logical response is, ‘it doesn’t mean you have to eat it too’. My husband does that too, and if I used that as an excuse I’d be the size of an elephant!

Despite my nagging, my husband is not particularly fitness or health inspired. However, he shows his support of how I choose to live my life in other ways.

I am quite ok with eating rather bland food, but my husband is not.

Like many people in this day and age, I am very busy.

I have my own company, my training, domestic duties, the myriad of appointments that I seem to have, sustaining a loving relationship and keeping up with friends and family. Now I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter to add to that list. So, bland eating has many benefits for me. It’s quick, it’s easy, it fuels my body and it keeps me lean. I like to keep the special treats for when I eat out.

That works for me, and I am a big believer in that if you are hungry most any type of food will taste good! However, I understand that this may not work for others.

Before I had my daughter, we would often eat separate meals in the evening simply because my husband didn’t want to eat what I was eating! So, that worked for us. He was happy to cook and we still had a few meals that suited us both so would not eat differently all the time. I often found that all I needed to do was drop the carbs from the meal and it was fine for me.

One of the secrets is to find good healthy alternatives that you enjoy so you don’t feel deprived, or, find healthy meals that you both love if variety is important to you. {SIDE NOTE: Sue wrote ‘Lean Body Gourmet‘ which is a part of her programs on her website. It’s filled with all types of meals for the fitness lifestyle; with flavor, variety and options.}

My husband also does his fair share around the house.

We have a cleaner that comes once a week to do our floors, bathrooms and kitchen which is a big help. My hubby helps with the laundry, washing Kyah’s bottles, and most importantly, he does the night feed for me. I go to bed early (very early some nights!) but I am the one to get up early in the morning and get Kyah fed and organised for day care, while he sleeps in a little.

Every so often he goes away for work for a week at a time and boy, do I feel it then! But, I know it’s only while my daughter is young and it’s getting better and better as she gets older. We simply follow the ‘many hands make light work’ rule.

My husband knows I’m happiest when I’m living my chosen lifestyle so he is happy to help me out when he can.

So, here’s a little checklist to help you find the support you need:

· If your partner isn’t into the fitness lifestyle see if he can support you in other ways – a little bit of cooking, cleaning or taking care of the kids for a little while so you can get in an exercise session or prepare your meals will be a great help

· Show your appreciation when your partner does help – everyone likes to know they are appreciated!

· Find support elsewhere too. Fitness forums, an exercise partner etc, where you can discuss ideas and find solutions – trust me, if you’re having some issues, others will be having them too

· Take responsibility. Just because your partner may not choose to be as supportive as you would like, doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your goals.

· Nagging doesn’t help – unfortunately! But just maybe when he sees your results, you will inspire your partner into becoming fitter and healthier too.

Sue Heintze

To see Sue’s amazing Before & After story – just click either link below; And then click ‘About’ in the upper right hand corner of her website:
Ideal Body Blueprint for Women
Advanced Fat-Loss Blueprint

And stay tuned for Parts 3, 4, and 5 – You will not want to miss them…

Any comments or thoughts about this post?? Feel free to share in ‘comment’ section below…

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This is the first part of an extremely insightful and helpful 5-Part Interview Series with Sue Heintze.

Sue Heintze at 41 and 7 Weeks Pregnant

Why Sue? …because many of my subscribers (you) have asked to hear from “a woman who has figured out how to maintain a beautiful level of fitness while dealing the everyday challenges of today’s modern woman – SUCH AS: spouse, kids, job, housework, extended family, etc….”

So, in my efforts to always give you what you want – and then some – I’ve created an interview which had to be broken down into 5 parts, in order to be answered with clarity and strength. Without further delay – here is Part 1:

QUESTION for Sue: “What adjustments did you have to make going from single/no kids—to married with child, etc… – both psychologically and logistically/physically?”

Sue’s ANSWER:

Do you ever wish there were more than 24 hours in the day?

Do you imagine how much you’d accomplish if you didn’t have to sleep? It sure can be a difficult thing to manage a home, a career, a relationship, be a mother, a daughter, a wife and a domestic goddess all rolled in to one. Add getting in shape to all that and things can seem pretty impossible.

As a new mum at the ripe old age of 41, this was a new challenge for me late last year. Prior to this I was an independent woman who ran my company business from home and trained and slept whenever I felt like it. I used to compete in figure competitions, so I was very busy and I worked hard, but my husband and I could pretty much do what we wanted, when we wanted.

Now, we have a beautiful addition to our family and I love my 6 month old daughter with a love that I never knew existed – but that luxurious world of independence that once existed has been totally crushed!

I was prepared for it as much as I could be.

I’d heard stories from other women about how they lost their pre pregnancy shape and never regained it, and that they never had a moment to themselves when the kids came along. I admit – I was a little bit scared.

I’d had my fair share of body image issues and disordered eating patterns in the past and I definitely didn’t want to revisit those topics. Funnily enough, childbirth didn’t worry me (although in hindsight it should have!), but losing ‘my life’ and my body as I knew them were my major concerns.

I actually talked to my husband at length about my concerns prior to getting pregnant. I had a career, one that paid our mortgage, so I was never going to be able to be a ‘full time mum’. Training was part of my life – it’s what I do, I don’t just talk the talk, I definitely practise what I preach and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to continue that.

My husband was great, and he was adamant that he intended to share the child rearing responsibilities.

I’ve never been a great sleeper, so this was my biggest worry initially. I had no idea how I was going to be able to look after a newborn and get enough sleep to enable me to run my business – let alone get back in shape! I’d heard that if you managed to actually have a shower before lunchtime you were doing well! Crikey!

About 8 weeks before the birth, I prioritized.

My baby and my health were my number one priority.

Even though I’d put on 16kg (35lb) I wasn’t too concerned about it but I knew that even if I didn’t have time for exercise yet, there was definitely something I could do to start my way back to great shape. So, this was my simple list of priorities after Kyah was born:

1. Get enough sleep so I could cope with the new challenges that would come my way

2. Get back to the nutrition principles that I know get me lean and keep me lean

3. Walk outdoors with my baby, when possible

Pretty simple really!

Prior to the birth I made sure that I had delegated as much of my business tasks as possible to my wonderful Programs Manager Kristin, though being a Managing Director of your own company means you will never be able to fully delegate everything. I talked to my husband about the need for some time each week to keep up with the basics.

So basically I had a plan for my business after the birth.

I also decided that exercise was not a priority at this early stage and that I wouldn’t beat myself up if I wasn’t able to exercise regularly (or at all). Consequently, I think all I managed was a couple of walks and one gym session in the first 8 weeks.

I did however concentrate on eating good food, and found that because of my previous fitness lifestyle, that the weight came off easily. Within 10 weeks I was only 2lb off my pre conception weight. I highly recommend being in shape prior to conceiving ladies!

The first 3-4 months of being a new mum was very challenging. I still had a very busy business to run, and a household to tend to, as well as a beautiful little girl who was diagnosed with reflux at 2 weeks old. I also had to go back to hospital for surgery for retained placenta 2 weeks after Kyah’s birth – I spent 2 more nights in hospital.

My husband and I played a bit of tag which allowed us both to get enough sleep to deal with everything else we had going on. I wouldn’t have been able to manage without my husband who shared the responsibility of night feeds, bottle washing and general household duties.

So, you could say we didn’t have a smooth start to parenthood. But, this still didn’t defeat me. I’ll reveal why and how in the next few parts of this series.

In wrapping up part 1 of this interview series, I offer a simple word of advice for all mum’s – please, do not put too much pressure on yourself – and keep reminding yourself; you do an amazing job, every single day and; it is really important you be kind to yourself.

Perfection often doesn’t look or feel perfect, but it can still be there. And if you open your mind a bit, you may realize bits and pieces of perfection throughout your fully-loaded, busy day.

– Sue Heintze
To see Sue’s amazing Before & After story – just click either link below; And then click ‘About’ in the upper right hand corner of her website:
Ideal Body Blueprint for Women
Advanced Fat-Loss Blueprint

And stay tuned for Parts 2, 3, 4, and 5 – You will not want to miss them.

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Tags: Ideal Bodies Online, Ideal Body Blueprint, Sue Heintze, Sue Heintze Fitness